Autumn, and that which comes with it

There has never been such a thing as a slow transition into fall. One day you are prancing around unawares in your shorts and sandals and all of a sudden there is that snap of crisp air (if it made a sound, it would be like cracking open a peapod), and the next day you are wearing jeans!

For some of us, this transition signals more than just the last beach day of the year. You either look at the change from summer vacation to the fall semester as going back to reality...or leaving it. As more of us have real-ish, full-time employment during the summers and live with our schools out of sight and out of mind for three months, it can feel more like a return to surreality.
As I approach turn 1 of my Calvin victory lap, I definitely feel the latter. In fact, I feel like I'm stuck in some awful 20-something purgatory, wallowing with a foot in the real world and another still in school. And I hate it. The last four years of my life have transmogrified--rather grotesquely-- into one small embossed piece of paper that I need in order to get out of purgatory and move on! (as a side note, my English major is appalled that this WYSIWYG editor doesn't support the em-dash, and my syntaxical flair is reduced to four ugly hyphens)

I went to a Calvin soccer game this weekend, and I definitely felt like I didn't belong anymore. And I don't.
I don't really know what this means for me or my future...just that I want out, and I want out now. But I can't get there. I have to finish school. Duh. But I need to keep this job, one for the money, and two, for the opportunity for the future. So instead of getting out fast, I have to just keep wallowing here, taking a few credits, working, and praying for May. So if you happen to pray for me, pray for May, too. (Some people tell me May is inevitable. But it doesn't feel like it at the moment)